Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008...Was It Great???

If I were to have posted my thoughts on the year 2008 just a few weeks ago it would have read far differently than how I want to post now. It would have said how painful and disappointing the events of the year were with one attempt after another and another and another seemingly failing in our efforts to adopt another child. It would have complained about the massive loss of money we shelled out for our adoption. It would certainly have been whiney about starting full-time work after a five year hiatus being a SAHM. I wouldn't have forgotten to post about our 14th move in 16 years the week after school started for Rainbow Brite entering Kindergarten. It would never have missed out on the sadness of saying goodbye to my BFF who moved to the other side of the world for the next three years, nor my other BFF who moved three hours away from us and I can't leave out the heartache of hearing totally different situations about two of our best friends being asked to leave their ministry jobs because someone else didn't handle the budgets well enough. I would have made sure to talk about how our doctor told both Mister Green and myself that if we continued on the same unhealthy eating path that we were on that we could count on being diabetic within five years. I would include the intense emotion that has gone on at our church after our music ministry staff all up and left at basically the same time leaving questions for many who didn't think they had all the answers. This caused great pain for our pastor whom we ADORE. And last, but not least, I would want everyone to know how this is the first year that I really felt old, wrinkly, saggy, fat and pretty much like I was falling apart inside and out--being the 20th anniversary of me being crowned Homecoming Queen and not feeling anything remotely like that spunky young Senior girl in the fall of 1988.

Nope. I don't want to go down that negative road.

Instead, I want to reflect on the amazing goodness of my God.
He has been so faithful to take care of me every step of the way even when I was pushing for my own will and calling it His.
He is so forgiving to take me back into His loving, gentle arms at every whimper of my tired voice.
He blessed me with fabulous friends, new and old.
He saw to it that we didn't trod down the wrong paths for our adoption attempts despite my constant pushing from January clear to the middle of December.
He hit me square in the face with the reality of the kind of place where my precious daughter came from when He allowed us to go on a mission trip to an orphanage in Guatemala.
He totally rocked at children's camp this summer!
He let us buy our incredibly fun Jeep!
He brought my brother and his family back to Texas allowing Rainbow Brite to get to know her cousins.
He gave me opportunities to be with my BFFs before they left.
He blessed me with a great paying job that is so easy and has great hours.
He blessed Rainbow Brite with a wonderful Kindergarten teacher and school.
He knocked our socks off with our precious house.
He blessed us with a friend who got my new Canon Rebel camera for a great price.
He is letting me watch our church come together and unify in a mighty way as we wait on His will for the flock.
He had me laughing down memory lane with several high school friends whom I hadn't even spoken to in 20 years.
He so wonderfully blessed me with a much needed girls-get-away weekend with my 3 college best friends.
He gave me time to read nine chick-books in June!
He challenged me to get out of my comfy SAHM box and do something great for our family by using my salary to get out of debt and plan for a Disney trip in 2009!
He so lovingly allowed Mister Green and I to celebrate 16 years of marriage!
He is allowing me to teach Biblical truths to the 6th graders in our children's ministry.
He let me celebrate with my parents their 50th wedding anniversary.
He led us to our current doctor who is one year older than me and who told us to "grow up" concerning our health which has in turn made us eat healthy and exercise regularly since Nov. 30 and we are on the right track finally!!!
He has given me much insight into how He protects us from the wrong move even though everything in my heart said to go full throttle ahead.
He has blessed me with an AMAZING husband and marriage that rocks my world.
He has blessed me abundantly with a BEAUTIFUL and funny daughter.
He has filled my heart with hope.

I can't explain the craziness of this past year. I truly felt beat down at times. I have cried over this adoption thing so much this year that I can't recall ever crying so many tears. If you were one to have given us money for our adoption, then PLEASE know that it went towards EXACTLY what I said it would: up front adoption expenses. I can't tell you what the future holds for us concerning adoption. So much has happened to close door after door after door that we have put our adoption on hold indefinitely. Don't know what that means except that we are trusting God for His provision at just the right time. We are getting ourselves right physically, financially and emotionally. Maybe that's what He has been waiting on. I do know that God is good all the time....all the time God is good. I questioned His silence a few times in the past several months. I wondered why all the losses. Even felt like I was being taunted and teased by Him at one point. I know that isn't His character. He loves me. He has a plan for our little family. I just know it.

So...2008. Was is GREAT? You that I am looking at it with a renewed heart and with the knowledge that God is who he says he is, God can do what he says he can do, I am who God says I am, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, God's word is alive and active in me. I am looking forward to 2009 with excitement as I get in shape and seek God's heart. I pray that I will bring Him blessing and honor.

God bless you, your family and your growing relationship with Him!

Happy New Year!!!


Kim K. said...

May all your dreams and wishes be fulfilled in 2009.

Happy New Year and God bless your family!!

Mama Darling said...

Love the new picture of RB. She just gets prettier with every post. Your words made me think. We all need to stop, "count our blessings and look for the positive!" Wishing you the best in 2009. Happy New Year!

Shudg said...

That was very touching. I love you and ?? W? I hope yall have a a great 2009! I know we will. New things ahead of us. Macenzie can drive in 31 days> scary huh?

Funderstorm said...

Oh BFF...a balm to my soul today.

Allie's going to be a Sister said...

What a great post! No I dont know
you, but I just found your blog
and that post really put things
in perspective for me today.

Have a happy & healthy New Year!


GloryandGrace said...

Wow...praise the Lord that He is evident in your reflection on this past year. Even when the refinement has been painful, confusing, and not at all what you wanted for yourself, praise the Lord that He was and still is at work!! Thanks for your honesty, and for sharing what He has been doing in your heart. All my love~

jennypen said...

Your post brought me to tears. Thanks for the reminder to be thankful in all things and look for God's good in the midst of hardships. I hope you don't even have to think twice next year when you say "2009 - It WAS great!!!"

Snow White said...

Love the pic of rb!!! Glad God has done so much for you. Think about you every time we pass the road to your inlaws house. Will probably drive by there again tomorrow. Still blogging; just get behind because of everything else. smile.
Love, Maude

Blueeyes said...

Great post. I've been struggling with depression this year...and I keep thinking about all the good things that I was not blessed with this year. In reality, 2008 was a good year filled with numerous blessings. Reading your post makes me realize how blessed I really am.

Journey on! said...

Happy New Year! This was good- I have refused to post any posts in the new year. Want to start off the year postitive!So thanks for the good example!
I just wish you guys the very best for this new year!

Cammie said...

WOW! Just wow! I am blessed by your complete openness and honesty! Thanks for being so open to sharing your thoughts with us. We are praying for you!

Also, the pic of RB is FABULOUS!!

Anna Grace`s Jie Jie said...

Happy New Year!!

Abby said...

I always love reading your insights! I love that one week in '08 I got to spend with you and MG in Guatemala and I love that you started a Bible Study for us NOGs. So what study are we doing in '09? :D

Nikki said...

Beautifully written, my friend. (and now I can practically hear your sweet southern drawl as I read it!)
It was wonderful to talk to you tonite.
God IS good all the time, and I look forward to seeing what He has in store for both of our families in 2009. Talk to you soon...

Oatsvall Team said...

oh sister i hear your pain and your passion !!! i was both sad and joyous for 2008 to roll away ... i think you are a beautiful woman, wife, and mother ... your eyes twinkle !!! know that we will all face 2009 together praying the Lord directs us and gives us the desires of our hearts that line up w/ Him !! i am specifically praying that many children come home to their forever families !!!

thanks for sharing your heart !!!

Steffie B. said...

Thinking of you sweet girl....I feel your pain as we are not sure how much longer we will continue this journey as well.....but like you, I do know that we have been blessed abundantely.....and as long as we continue to give Him the honor and glory....all things are possible.....