If I were to have posted my thoughts on the year 2008 just a few weeks ago it would have read far differently than how I want to post now. It would have said how painful and disappointing the events of the year were with one attempt after another and another and another seemingly failing in our efforts to adopt another child. It would have complained about the massive loss of money we shelled out for our adoption. It would certainly have been whiney about starting full-time work after a five year hiatus being a SAHM. I wouldn't have forgotten to post about our 14th move in 16 years the week after school started for Rainbow Brite entering Kindergarten. It would never have missed out on the sadness of saying goodbye to my BFF who moved to the other side of the world for the next three years, nor my other BFF who moved three hours away from us and I can't leave out the heartache of hearing totally different situations about two of our best friends being asked to leave their ministry jobs because someone else didn't handle the budgets well enough. I would have made sure to talk about how our doctor told both Mister Green and myself that if we continued on the same unhealthy eating path that we were on that we could count on being diabetic within five years. I would include the intense emotion that has gone on at our church after our music ministry staff all up and left at basically the same time leaving questions for many who didn't think they had all the answers. This caused great pain for our pastor whom we ADORE. And last, but not least, I would want everyone to know how this is the first year that I really felt old, wrinkly, saggy, fat and pretty much like I was falling apart inside and out--being the 20th anniversary of me being crowned Homecoming Queen and not feeling anything remotely like that spunky young Senior girl in the fall of 1988.
Nope. I don't want to go down that negative road.
Instead, I want to reflect on the amazing goodness of my God.
He has been so faithful to take care of me every step of the way even when I was pushing for my own will and calling it His.
He is so forgiving to take me back into His loving, gentle arms at every whimper of my tired voice.
He blessed me with fabulous friends, new and old.
He saw to it that we didn't trod down the wrong paths for our adoption attempts despite my constant pushing from January clear to the middle of December.
He hit me square in the face with the reality of the kind of place where my precious daughter came from when He allowed us to go on a mission trip to an orphanage in Guatemala.
He totally rocked at children's camp this summer!
He let us buy our incredibly fun Jeep!
He brought my brother and his family back to Texas allowing Rainbow Brite to get to know her cousins.
He gave me opportunities to be with my BFFs before they left.
He blessed me with a great paying job that is so easy and has great hours.
He blessed Rainbow Brite with a wonderful Kindergarten teacher and school.
He knocked our socks off with our precious house.
He blessed us with a friend who got my new Canon Rebel camera for a great price.
He is letting me watch our church come together and unify in a mighty way as we wait on His will for the flock.
He had me laughing down memory lane with several high school friends whom I hadn't even spoken to in 20 years.
He so wonderfully blessed me with a much needed girls-get-away weekend with my 3 college best friends.
He gave me time to read nine chick-books in June!
He challenged me to get out of my comfy SAHM box and do something great for our family by using my salary to get out of debt and plan for a Disney trip in 2009!
He so lovingly allowed Mister Green and I to celebrate 16 years of marriage!
He is allowing me to teach Biblical truths to the 6th graders in our children's ministry.
He let me celebrate with my parents their 50th wedding anniversary.
He led us to our current doctor who is one year older than me and who told us to "grow up" concerning our health which has in turn made us eat healthy and exercise regularly since Nov. 30 and we are on the right track finally!!!
He has given me much insight into how He protects us from the wrong move even though everything in my heart said to go full throttle ahead.
He has blessed me with an AMAZING husband and marriage that rocks my world.
He has blessed me abundantly with a BEAUTIFUL and funny daughter.
He has filled my heart with hope.
I can't explain the craziness of this past year. I truly felt beat down at times. I have cried over this adoption thing so much this year that I can't recall ever crying so many tears. If you were one to have given us money for our adoption, then PLEASE know that it went towards EXACTLY what I said it would: up front adoption expenses. I can't tell you what the future holds for us concerning adoption. So much has happened to close door after door after door that we have put our adoption on hold indefinitely. Don't know what that means except that we are trusting God for His provision at just the right time. We are getting ourselves right physically, financially and emotionally. Maybe that's what He has been waiting on. I do know that God is good all the time....all the time God is good. I questioned His silence a few times in the past several months. I wondered why all the losses. Even felt like I was being taunted and teased by Him at one point. I know that isn't His character. He loves me. He has a plan for our little family. I just know it.
So...2008. Was is GREAT? You bet....now that I am looking at it with a renewed heart and with the knowledge that God is who he says he is, God can do what he says he can do, I am who God says I am, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, God's word is alive and active in me. I am looking forward to 2009 with excitement as I get in shape and seek God's heart. I pray that I will bring Him blessing and honor.
God bless you, your family and your growing relationship with Him!
Happy New Year!!!
